Closed to Swimmers

You know what's really gross? Kitchen drains. Ours literally drains through a hole in the wall to the outside into a hole in the ground in the patio. But I shouldn't say "drains". Looks like it's been clogged for a while, and now we get to fix it...unless, of course, I want to see little rivers of rice and whatnots-that-fit-through-the-catch-basin-in-the-sink floating around in the backyard.

So yesterday I purchased a bottle of sulfuric acid at the local hardware store and was told I could pour it into the clog and it would, essentially, burn through anything in it's path. But I forgot about the leaves and dirt and sludge that had been building up in the hole for what may have been ever...the smell of acid burning through grime is beyond terrible. It's nose-numbing. I'm sure I lost brain cells because of it. And, I forgot that the pipe leads DIRECTLY to the sink. Therefore, the smell came straight back up through the pipes into the kitchen, and wafted throughout the house. Went to sleep smelling sulfur and burning sludge. Yummy. To make it even better, the clog is still there. It rained last night and refilled the hole with rainwater, diluting the acid. Bought gloves. I'm going in.